sometimes i am over react and think too much bout something that i shouldn't. even it is now not in my control and it is something that i won't be able to change, clearly i can't resist myself to get into that thing.the sorrow of feeling guilt and regret of being a sucks hope giver is enough i think.i am drowning in problem that i actually created.maybe time will tell whether it will abate and let me calm like i used to be before.whether to accept it or not, life must move on, whether I'm going to give you fake smile or pretend to be very pleasant and happy is all up to me.all i need now is just a break.i wish this is the full stop cuz i won't bear to deal with it anymore.i have plenty of things to be taken care of, so this problem should be at the back of my head from now on. but yet i am still feeling guilty :|